No one believes that, among games of a sexual nature between children, some would be “normal”, allowing them to satisfy certain anatomical curiosities and to prepare themselves for their adult role. Another question then arises: what adult role to prepare? The explicit one of the speech of protection or the implicit one that one lets pass in certain speeches and images to which the children are subjected?

This question is to be asked individually and collectively. For the professional confronted with sexualized behaviors between children, the important thing is to be able to react after having identified if it is a game or an abusive situation.

To play, what does it represent?

When a child plays, he creates a transition space between his inner world and the outside world. In this intermediate space, he can stage his inner concerns, his aggressive feelings as well as his worries. He can also establish links between external events experienced, heard or observed and his inner world. Be it the furry sex games or any other, when the games get played, you can find the best options there.

The transition space of the game allows him to make his own experiences and put into action or stage personal feelings in relation to his environment, and this outside the adult educational perspective.

  • It is therefore a space of psychic development to build.
  • The game emphasizes a concern of the child either internal or related to external events.
  • The play situation is creative for the child; it allows him to stage situations that do not exist, to experiment with answers, to control anxieties, through playful inventions and in a protected space.
  • The adult should therefore look at the child who plays with kindness, leaving him to his attempts to reconcile what is subjectively perceived with what can be objectively.

Games of a sexual nature or staging sexuality thus have the same function as other games: to stage internal concerns and attempt to develop or integrate external events that are experienced, observed or heard.

In addition, the sexual nature of a game is to be understood from the point of view of the child and his level of development and not from our point of view of adult. For example, two 3-year-olds who touch the anus do not have the same sexual connotation as in 10-year-olds.

How does the game come to children?

Both play and language are processes of symbolization. When a child experiences an event, there are two times: the time when it happens, the time of the experience, and the time when it is represented, in the aftermath, in a re-capture of the experience. tantric massage london

It is first the mother who translates to the baby his experiences, allowing him little by little to anticipate what will happen and to have taken on his environment. Gradually, if the mother’s environment is good enough, the child will project the emotions present in the relation to the mother onto the objects. The game becomes more solitary, essentially sensorimotor and exploratory. The child seeks to have a grip on his environment and needs these play periods out of the presence of the adult.

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